Kim Blackett previously appeared in Plan-B Theatre Company’s Script-In-Hand Series reading of STANDING ON CEREMONY: THE GAY MARRIAGE PLAYS, a fundraiser for Equality Utah on November 7, 2011.  He is part of the cast of the Script-In-Hand Series reading of “8” on August 4-5, 2012, a fundraiser for Plan-B and the American Foundation for Equal Rights.  This posting first appeared on our blog on November 6, 2011.

Brent Schneider & Kim Blackett on their wedding day, October 25, 2011 (in celebration of their 25th anniversary)

“Does it feel any different?” I’ve been asked that several times since my partner of 25 years and I got married in Washington, D.C. on October 25. The answer is “YES!” and that was something I was not expecting. I went into this, basically just wanting a piece of paper that said we were legally married after all these years. It turned out I got more. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is that makes it feel different and I can’t come up with anything in words. As far as the relationship goes, everything was put in place – bugs worked out, differences acknowledged and accepted, toilet paper put on the “proper” way on the dispenser – long before the “I Do’s” were uttered. So what changed?

Kim Blackett & Brent Schneider on their wedding day, October 25, 2011 (in celebration of their 25th anniversary)

For years I had said that a little piece of paper wouldn’t change anything about my relationship with my partner. After all, it’s just paper. The thought that someone who was given some sort of authority merely mumbling words in front of us would magically change ANYTHING was absurd to me. Surprise! It did change, there IS some sort of magic involved when a government agency acknowledges the love two people have shared for a quarter of a century with an embossed golden seal on a government contract. They said, “Hey, at least this section of the country doesn’t see you as second class citizens. We notice you, We’ve heard you and we want to make it right.” But, that’s still not the only reason it feels different. It just does…and those who try to tell LGBT folks that a piece of paper really doesn’t matter and won’t change anything are wrong. Very wrong. It does and I hope I can spend the next 25 years figuring out a way to explain it in words.

Plan-B Theatre Company’s Script-In-Hand Series reading of “8″ takes the stage August 4-5. A fundraiser for both Plan-B and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the event boasts a cast of 20 and a post-show discussion with the playwright, Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black, and Congressman Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts). Tickets and more info available here.

Jerry Rapier & Kirt Bateman at the Bear Lake wedding of the daughter of Teresa Sanderson (July 2012), coincidentally wearing the same shirts they wore at their wedding last July.

Jerry Rapier has been Producing Director of Plan-B Theatre Company since 2000.  He married Kirt Bateman on July 24, 2011 in New York after 15 1/2 years together.  Jerry’s next directing project is Plan-B’s “8” on August 4-5 – Kirt plays the role of Charles Cooper.

Homos have a hard time deciding how to determine anniversaries.

For us, it’s December 28, 1995. Why? Because that was our first date. Kirt came to see a show I was in at TheatreWorks West (which was in residence at Westminster College). We got off to a rough start because the guy I had been dating was also at the show that night. Kirt waited patiently in the car for me – it was in that moment that I knew what a great guy he was. We then we went for late-night lattes at Firenze (which was where Mo’s Grill is now). We talked for hours. When we finally went back to get my car, we sat in the parking lot, not wanting the night to end. I asked Kirt if I could kiss him. He said yes!

We were inseparable for the next week but then I had to head to Arizona for my brother Ryan’s wedding. When I returned to Salt Lake, we were again inseparable. So much so that by the end of the third week Kirt moved in with me.

Jerry & Kirt on a cruise to Mexico (2003)

He was 20, I was 24, and it may have been smart to get to know each other a little better before doing that. But we were still together when December 28, 1996 rolled around; the idea of us ever being able to have a wedding anniversary seemed like the stuff of science fiction so this celebrate-the-anniversary-of-our-first-date scenario made perfect sense.

Fast forward to the summer of 2011. We had already planned a theatre trip to New York the weekend of July 24. Kirt had a break in his schedule at the Davis Arts Council and I would be wrapping up a week of work for the National Endowment for the Arts in Washington, D.C. so we were going to meet in the city.

While planning that trip we were also watching the drama unfold in New York State regarding the Marriage Equality Act, which passed by the New York State Legislature and signed into law by Governor Cuomo on June 24, 2011. We were elated in a “this is good for the movement” way. It had no direct connection to us.

And then suddenly it did.

The Marriage Equality Act was set to go into effect exactly one month later on July 24, 2011.

We were going to be in the city that very day.

New York City Clerk's Office in Manhattan's Financial District (Wedding Day, July 24, 2011)

So I did some investigating. It took about 2 minutes to apply for a marriage license online. So I did. Why not? All that was left to do was show I.D. in person to prove that you were who you said you were and then wait out the mandatory 24-hour waiting period until you could actually get married.

The fact that July 24 was a Sunday seemed to be the biggest hurdle since all city offices would be closed. I called the City Clerk’s Office a few days after the law passed. I was surprised to get someone on the phone right away. He was very nice and explained that everything had happened so quickly that they really didn’t have a plan in place. No one knew if they would be open the day the law went into effect given the budget crisis the city was facing. They also didn’t know if the 24-hour waiting period would be waived so that people could do it all on the same day. He said to just keep watching the website for details.

So I watched the website for a full day – no updates – so decided to call back. By this point there was no hope of speaking to a human. The voicemail stated that they couldn’t keep up with the high volume of calls regarding the Marriage Equality Act so the only option was to wait for an online update.

Kirt & Jerry waiting in line to enter the New York City Clerk's Office (Wedding Day, July 24, 2011)

A couple of weeks passed and no concrete information surfaced on the website. I left for my NEA gig in Washington, D.C. knowing that Kirt and I were going to meet a week later in Manhattan and that we had a marriage license waiting for us that we weren’t sure we would be able to use. Worst case scenario, we’d have to get in line early on the morning of Monday, July 25 to secure our marriage license at the City Clerk’s Office; go wait in another line in another building to apply for a waiver of the 24-hour waiting period; and then get back in line at the City Clerk’s Office in hopes of getting married in time to make our flight at 5pm. We were willing to give this a shot but it sounded iffy at best.

By Tuesday July 20, we hadn’t heard anything. I hadn’t been checking email all week but, on a coffee break that afternoon, I just happened to take a quick look. While I was doing so, an email popped through from the New York City Clerk’s Office stating that they would be open on Sunday, July 24.

BUT.

They were instituting a lottery. Those who won a slot would have the 24-hour waiting period waived and were guaranteed to have their marriage solemnized that day. So I hastily filled out the online form for one of the 400 slots in Manhattan, hit send, and texted Kirt.

We would know by noon on Friday, July 22 if we had been selected. The trouble was, Kirt was getting on a plane that morning in Salt Lake City and could very well arrive in Manhattan not knowing if we were able to get married or not.

Kirt & Jerry waiting in line to enter the New York City Clerk's Office (Wedding Day, July 24, 2011)

Of course, I was obsessively hitting refresh on my iPhone on every break from then on, hoping that we’d get word before Kirt got on a plane. On Thursday night, I was turning my phone off at Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company in D.C. about 5 minutes before the 8 o’clock curtain and decided to hit refresh one more time. There it was – the email. I nervously opened it and about fell out of my chair when I read that we had won one of the slots in Manhattan. I hastily texted Kirt but couldn’t wait for his response so I jumped out of my seat, bolted to the lobby and called him. It was suddenly very real. We were excited, a bit dumbfounded and a little giggly. We were getting married!

We met at our hotel on Friday night, July 22, headed to dinner and started talking about how to let people know. We sent out a bunch of text messages, posted on Facebook and tried to wrap our mind around what was happening. Kirt knew I’d talked to our friends Jedadiah Schultz and David Spencer about joining us if a wedding were to take place. If things worked out for a Sunday wedding they could both be there. If it were Monday, they were both heading out of town to do shows and therefore wouldn’t be able to join us.

The wedding cookies Susannah Derbenwick made for us (Wedding Day, July 24, 2011)

What Kirt didn’t know is that I had been talking to our friend Susannah Derbenwick—Kirt’s closest friend from his high school years—about coming up from D.C. to be one of our witnesses. She was going to come stand in line with us and hope for the best. I called her late on Thursday night and to tell her it was definitely happening on Sunday instead of maybe happening on Monday and could she change her plans? She ended up pulling an all-nighter baking (see photos).

On Saturday afternoon, as we were heading to see a Broadway show my cousin Trisha was in, Kirt realized he had completely forgotten to text Susannah about what was happening (which was strange as she would normally be one of the first people to get good news from him). It was all I could do not to spill the beans. After the show, we were catching up with Trisha over dinner. Kirt went to the restroom and I filled Trisha in on the Susannah factor – that she actually was going to be showing up shortly to join us for dinner and that it was all a surprise for Kirt. Shortly after he returned to the table, Susannah popped in and sat at our table. Kirt was buried in his menu it took him a while to realize what was happening. It was perfect!

We’d received instructions to not arrive at the City Clerk’s Office before 7:30am on Sunday morning. Kirt, Susannah and I arrived about that time and there were already thousands of people ringing the building, waiting for the doors to open at 9am.

Jed and David met us there, completing our wedding party of five. While standing in line we all realized just how special what we were doing was. The joy in the air was palpable! It was energizing and exciting to be part of history. It was surreal when it hit us that we were about to be the first same-sex couple from Utah to be married in New York.

By 9:30am we were indoors. We discovered while waiting that all of the people working in the City Clerk’s Office that day and all of the judges performing the ceremonies were volunteering their time. That made the day even more special.

Jedadiah Schultz, David Spencer, Jerry & Kirt, Susannah Derbenwick, Judge Michael Sonberg (Wedding Day, July 24, 2011)

A little before 11am, when our number was called, things got very real. We were led to a back office. Judge Michael Sonberg, who performed our ceremony, asked the other judge in the room if he could do our ceremony. Two judges were in each room – the senior judge was signing waivers of the 24-hour waiting period and the junior judges were conducting the ceremonies. The junior judge agreed and Judge Sonberg took the reigns. He asked us how long we’d been together. We replied, “Fifteen and a half years.” He chuckled and replied, “Well, then you know what you’re getting into.” He paused, and then added, “You’ve been together half as long as my partner and I. We’re getting married next month.”  (Read the QSaltLake and The Salt Lake Tribune articles about our wedding).

And then it happened: in less than five minutes in a back office, sitting at a desk, I married the love of my life. We were unprepared for how different we would feel. After all, we’d been together so long, wasn’t this just a formality? That couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Our version of feeding each other wedding cake (Wedding Day, July 24, 2011)!

We five went to brunch afterwards to celebrate. After we were seated, we noticed the owner of the restaurant started greeting people with, “It’s a great day in New York. Gay marriage is legal!” Once he realized we had just gotten married he personally brought us over a dessert to add to the celebration. It wasn’t a big deal and that was the whole point – it was very, very ordinary. And that made it even more special.

Well, this was originally a theatre trip so we had theatre tickets at 3pm. Ironically, this was the day we had tickets to different shows. So after brunch we decided to head to our respective Broadway theatres. That was not the best idea. When we rendezvoused back at the hotel, we laughed when we realized we’d had a shared experience in separate theatres: neither one of us could focus on anything but of what we’d just experienced. Later that night, I was relaxing in the hotel room and realized that Kirt had been in the shower for a very long time. So I checked in. He was leaning against the wall of the shower, deep in thought. He looked at me and said, “I didn’t expect it to feel different. I can’t explain it. But it does.”

And it does. It’s hard to put into words. You just have to experience it. And isn’t that the point?

Such inexplicable joy should be available to everyone.

Equally.

Everywhere.

Now.

Kirt & Jerry on the beach literally outside the door of the Jane & Tami Marquardt's beach house in Laguna (Honeymoon, November 2011)

Due to our schedules, we weren’t able to go on a honeymoon until mid-November. But that ended up being perfect. We spent a week at the beach house of our friends Jane & Tami Marquardt in Laguna Beach (thank you again J&T!). I had been in touch with the folks at Broadway Impact and the American Foundation for Equal Rights in August about Dustin Lance Black’s play “8”. I had heard about the script and wanted to read it to see if it was a good fit for Plan-B. Serendipitously, I was finally emailed a script during our honeymoon. I read it immediately and knew that Plan-B Theatre Company had to bring “8” to Utah. Maybe it was where we were – after all, what better setting to read a play dramatizing the trial that declared Prop. 8 unconstitutional than on our homo honeymoon in Southern California?  The script spoke to me as an urgent call to action, a political tool and a provocative piece of theatre that had to be shared.

Jerry & Kirt celebrating their "other" anniversary (#16, December 28, 2011)

Currently, the District of Columbia; the Coquille and Suquamish tribes; and Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, New York, Massachusetts and Vermont grant same-sex marriages in the United States. Nine states now offer broad protections short of marriage (Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, New Jersey and Rhode Island allow civil unions, while California, Oregon, Nevada and Washington offer broad domestic partnership). Four other states (Colorado, Maine, Maryland and Wisconsin) have more limited domestic partnership.This November, same-sex marriage has been forced to a voter referendum in Maryland and Washington. Also this November, supporters of same-sex marriage have, for the first time, brought the issue to the ballot with the initiative in Maine.

We have work to do.

It’s crazy that tomorrow will be our first wedding anniversary! This coming December, Kirt and I will have been together 17 years. You know what’d be really crazy? If our marriage could travel with us wherever we decide to celebrate, especially here at home.

Plan-B Theatre Company’s Script-In-Hand Series reading of “8″ takes the stage August 4-5. A fundraiser for both Plan-B and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the event boasts a cast of 20 and a post-show discussion with the playwright, Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black, and Congressman Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts). Tickets and more info available here.

Kevin Emerson & Trixi Sieger on their wedding day

Kevin Emerson is a member of Plan-B Theatre Company’s board of trustees.  He and Beatrix (aka Trixi) are also subscribers and donors.

Yes we do!

We had done it! We found each other and knew we wanted to be together; to create something bigger than our individual selves by sharing our daily experiences with one another for the rest of our lives – we were getting married!

For us, the personal commitment we made to each other was the most important. So, when we announced our engagement, we had already had our own two-person “wedding” of sorts. But we also wanted to share our commitment with our community of family and friends through a public and legally-recognized marriage ceremony. Of course, the tax advantages, insurance perks, and other legal privileges were also nice; but to be honest these seemed like “icing on the cake.”

Trixi Sieger & Kevin Emerson

For each evening over several months, we worked together to plan all aspects of our wedding. One night – in the midst of wrapping spring bulbs in tulle – we started discussing how this whole “marriage” thing feels kind of wrong, considering that some of our closest friends are unable to freely and legally marry the person closest to their hearts. The very thing we were so immersed in was out of reach for our many of our friends. We grew quiet in our conversation as we thought of what it really meant to be in love and want to legally commit to one another only to have the law tell us “No” based solely on sexual orientation. Boy, is it easy to take things for granted when they’re not out of reach! With such a sobering thought in our minds, how could we move forward with our wedding? Should we postpone our marriage until all people can legally marry?

Trixi Sieger & Kevin Emerson

Every straight couple has to answer that question on their own. But for us, we knew we had the love and support of our community. We knew that our  LGBT friends were excited to offer their blessing on our wedding day, knowing that one day, if we all keep working at it together, we’d be there to celebrate with them on theirs, too. Besides, our world needs more straight married couples to stand up for marriage equality and to explain to those who will listen, that not only is our marriage not threatened by marriage equality, it becomes enriched through it. All marriages become more meaningful when the institution of marriage itself embodies more fairness, acceptance, and love.

Trixi Sieger & Kevin Emerson

Though our wedding ceremony and celebration was overflowing with personally meaningful and heart-felt tradition, it wasn’t a “religious” ceremony, per se (our officiate was a Unitarian Minister, need we say more?). But seriously, “God” just wasn’t discussed much, if at all, during the ceremony. And while many Americans don’t consider our a-religious wedding to be legitimate, it is fully recognized under the law because we’re straight; what ought to matter is love not how that love is expressed, or who you love.

Rowan, Trixi & Kevin

As we approach our ninth wedding anniversary, we look at our 2-year-old son and wonder when things will change. He’s growing fast and we are impatient for the world to be better for him. We aspire for a world that is fair and respectful to all people. We believe it can happen and we each do what we can to help make it so, through our personal actions, how we vote, and how we raise our son. If we didn’t believe things could change, we wouldn’t have brought him into this world. It took a long time to get here and it will take some time to make things right again. By marrying art and theatre with social activism, through plays such as “8,” we believe that the civil justice that our world needs will come sooner.

Plan-B Theatre Company’s Script-In-Hand Series reading of “8″ takes the stage August 4-5. A fundraiser for both Plan-B and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the event boasts a cast of 20 and a post-show discussion with the playwright, Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black, and Congressman Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts). Tickets and more info available here.

Steve Verno and Ben Brown

Ben Brown is a member of Plan-B Theatre Company’s board of trustees.  He and Steve Verno are also subscribers and donors.

After serving an LDS mission, I met Steve Verno. It was several months after returning home that I realized I couldn’t seem to change. I had always felt “different” but gave little thought to what being “gay” meant and continued my pursuit of eternal happiness. I put everything I could into understanding the history and teachings of the LDS Church. At the age of 12, I began experiencing feelings of same-sex attraction and understood completely the ramifications of any indiscretion. By the age of 17, I knew I wanted to go on a mission, and then continue with a career as an LDS seminary teacher. I studied the theology, the history and supplemental writings from various LDS scholars. I remember flipping through the pages of any book in the “self-help” section of Deseret Book, looking in the index for the words gay, homosexual, same-sex attraction, anything to understand more on the topic. Rarely would I find anything helpful – there was very little to say on the subject. Scripture can sum up the thesis of my religiously based study. In John 8:32, it reads “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Steve Verno and Ben Brown

I remember reading the book “Miracle of Forgiveness” on the topic of same-sex attraction. I remember feeling so alone and miserable that I decided to “turn to the Lord.” I quietly closed my bedroom door and knelt to pray. I remember making a pact with God that if he would deliver me from these feelings and help me to succeed I would serve my mission. I promised two years in return for what I saw as the perfect life.

Steve Verno and Ben Brown

Little changed as far as those feelings were concerned and I worked the best I could during my mission. Upon returning I felt a new chapter of my life was beginning. I had so many questions and needed time to adjust to living in the world. I returned with little regret and a promise to find happiness no matter the cost. Almost 7 months later I met Steve for the first time and we have been together ever since.

When we first met we gave little thought to getting married, we would sometimes joke, but the jokes were set aside and life went on. It was Steve who had thought for many years that he would never get married – there was no such thing as marriage for a gay man. For the past decade, Steve and I have enjoyed our lives together and given little thought to sharing our commitment and love with those around us, except for our friends.

Ben Brown and Steve Verno on their wedding day!

In October 2011, we celebrated the 10-year mark in our relationship while vacationing in Puerto Rico. I proposed to Steve on the trip. Since that day our lives have been different. It was a journey to reconnect to lost friends and family and “open the door” to our commitment and love that we intended to celebrate. In February 2012, Steve and I were married overlooking the Empire State Building in New York City. A reception for our friends and family was held this spring.

Thinking back more than a decade, I never thought I would have the opportunity to marry. I knew many years ago that I enjoyed Steve’s company and felt who better to spend my life with than with my best friend. As more individuals look towards truth and understanding, more doors will open for them, and then their journey can end as ours has: free.

Plan-B Theatre Company’s Script-In-Hand Series reading of “8″ takes the stage August 4-5. A fundraiser for both Plan-B and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the event boasts a cast of 20 and a post-show discussion with the playwright, Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black, and Congressman Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts). Tickets and more info available here.

Rick & Amy Pollock

Rick Pollock is a member of Plan-B Theatre Company’s board of trustees.  He and Amy Clements Pollock are donors.

Amy and I first met on April 16, 1998 at the Salt Lake International Airport.  She’d won a trip for two to Hawaii and I was the Promotions & Marketing Director at the radio station she’d won it from.  She was one of 20 lucky winners and I was one of 5 lucky staff members going to Honolulu for 5 days/4 nights.  She was taking her cousin Kindra, I was taking my girlfriend of two years.

Right away we hit it off, the four of us spent a lot of time together, but soon it was back to Salt Lake and our normal lives.  I didn’t see Amy again until another radio station event in June, this time we exchanged numbers and promised that we all needed to hang out again soon.   Little did Amy know that in those six weeks my girlfriend and I had been having some “issues.”  She was adamant about my converting to her LDS faith and I was not religious, but I told her that maybe I’d look into it.  I’m not sure why I thought stalling would work, finally I just told her that I wasn’t going to convert.  Long story, short: I was single again!

Amy and I just clicked.  She’s funny, outgoing, beautiful and one of the smartest women I’ve ever met.  WAAAYYYYY out of my league.

I must’ve done something right, because we started dating in late June and by the end of the year we were married.

Hmm.  I skipped over a little part there, a part that I probably need to address.  Ok, we started dating in late June, we moved in together in September and we were married by the end of the year.  It was a whirlwind courtship, and to this day I don’t regret a second of it.

Funny thing is, I don’t remember asking her to marry me.  I do remember asking her to “shack up.” It only made sense, we were spending every waking second together and both of our leases were soon going to be up.

Rick & Amy Pollock with their son, Stone

The day we signed our lease on our cute two-bedroom apartment, kitty-corner from the state capitol, she had a little panic attack.  Her family was (and still is) conservative and LDS.   (Think Mitt Romney and BYU conservative.)  I’m sure her moving in with some liberal, agnostic Ute fan was not something she was eager to share with her family.  So she didn’t.  I wasn’t on the answering machine and if her family came, I would have to leave and then come in like I was visiting.  It’s hilarious looking back and I’m sure they weren’t fooled.

We’d decided that we’d get married in February.  It’d be the big to-do with friends and family.  I was looking forward to it, she wasn’t.  She’d been through the hoopla before and wasn’t looking forward to all of the work it would entail.  So, for Christmas, I surprised her with a surprise trip to Las Vegas for our wedding at the Chapel of Love.   We’d be leaving the next day.

December 26^th came and I had to setup some radio station broadcast at RC Willey and then we’d be leaving.  My Mom gave me $100, lent us her huge Cadillac, filled it with snacks and gas and we were off!

We almost ran out of gas around Cedar City, but finally rolled into Las Vegas at about 11pm.   We checked into our hotel room and woke up the next morning, ready to get our marriage license and see exactly where the Chapel of Love is.   I’d done a little research on the internet and put a down payment with the Chapel of Love – it was a cheesy name and I thought it would be perfect for a Vegas wedding.

First, we drove to the Clark County Courthouse and got our marriage license, (at 10:30am on a Sunday, thank you, Las Vegas.)  Then, we were off to see where we were going to tie the knot.  It wasn’t the most glamorous location in Las Vegas to get married.   If you’ve been to Las Vegas during the day, in December, you know everything looks pretty bleak.  Amy had a horrible cold, and maybe it was the sight of that dreary looking, renovated real estate office/wedding chapel, or maybe she missed her family, or maybe she just had a horrible night’s sleep in a crappy Las Vegas hotel room . . . she started to cry.  I felt horrible. What had I done?  I told her not to worry we didn’t have to get married, it could just be a fun couple of days in Las Vegas.   She needed to call her Mom, who must’ve said something to make her feel better.  (Moms just kind of do that.)  After her call, she felt great and was getting excited for our wedding that night.  So we went over to the mall and I picked up a nice sweater, she wore her favorite black dress, and we waited for our limo driver to pick us up.

Right on time, we got the call and went down to see a 10-year-old limosine waiting for us. We climbed into the back and listened to this horrible screeching, whining noise all the way to the chapel.  At the chapel, as we were filling out our paper work, the “coordinator” asked us if we wanted God mentioned, Amy and I looked at each other and the coordinator suggested that a little “God” never hurt anyone.  So a little God it was.  We chose the “Rainbow Chapel” I believe, because it wasn’t some horrible shade of peach or pink.

The ceremony was hilarious.  Amy was led through the door and I grabbed her arm the wrong way, she was supposed to hook on to my arm, but I hooked onto hers.  It was so awkward.  Our pastor/preacher/guy-that-was-marrying-us controlled the music through a little dial on this lectern. with a “tip envelope” he’d be sure to hand me at the end of the ceremony.   There we were, she in her favorite black dress, me in my new black sweater and jeans getting married with a little bit of God. I was so nervous and maybe I was taking the whole thing too seriously, we were getting married after all.  Amy starts to laugh, she does a horrible job of trying to cover it, but it happened and I knew that I was going to be in for a fun ride.

Twelve-and-a-half years later, we have an awesome little boy and a great dog, and I think, “Really?  A guy and girl can get married, on a whim, in a converted office space, after knowing each other six months, and a same-sex couple can’t get married after being in a loving, committed relationship for decades?”

Oh well, gotta protect the sanctity of marriage I guess.

Plan-B Theatre Company’s Script-In-Hand Series reading of “8″ takes the stage August 4-5. A fundraiser for both Plan-B and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the event boasts a cast of 20 and a post-show discussion with the playwright, Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black, and Congressman Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts). Tickets and more info available here.

Brian Doughty and Rian Davis

Brian Doughty is a Utah State Representative and currently serves as Plan-B Theatre Company’s board treasurer.  He and Rian Davis are subscribers and donors.

I accepted my sexuality late in life, or at least I considered it to be late in life.  I was 29 when the realization hit me that 30 was around the corner and I needed to accept who I was and embrace being a gay man.  But that was just the first step in an evolution to truly embracing what being gay means and the rights I should be given.  Not special rights!  Equal rights.

When I was in my early 30’s the discussion about civil unions and gay marriage were just starting to gain momentum.  But, to be honest, I did not understand all of the hoopla coming from the gay community.  “Why do we need to be able to get married?”  I would ask my friends and myself this question during heated debates at the gay coffee shop in Denver [where I was living at the time].

Looking back, I was still very immature to the concept of relationships.  During those first 29 years of my live I had never been in any type of committed relationship.  Now that I have been in three “long term” relationships I have grown or evolved to understand the importance of marriage for the gay community and for my partner and me].

Marriage is a societal recognition of a couple’s love and dedication to each other.  Marriage is a bundle of legal rights that ensures everything from medical visitation to child custody.  Until gay marriage is available in all fifty states, gay couples are essentially second-class citizens.

Brian Doughty and Rian Davis

The fact that states are putting initiatives on the ballot where the majority can vote to refuse rights to the minority is insane.  My partner Rian and I love each other, we live together, we contribute to society, we pay our taxes, we share dreams together, but in the eyes of our state we are perfect strangers.

Marriage would mean legal protections and benefits that are given to our heterosexual neighbors.

Marriage would mean society recognizing that our relationship is just as important as those of my straight friends and family.

It is my hope that in my lifetime we look back at the last few years of states removing and/or restricting the ability of loving gay couples to marry as shameful and ignorant.

Being a gay man, I myself was ignorant to the benefits of marriage equality.  It’s imperative that the gay community and allies help people like myself evolve to a place of understanding and support of marriage equality.

Plan-B Theatre Company’s Script-In-Hand Series reading of “8″ takes the stage August 4-5. A fundraiser for both Plan-B and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the event boasts a cast of 20 and a post-show discussion with the playwright, Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black, and Congressman Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts). Tickets and more info available here.